Tuesday, September 15, 2009

birthday love

happy birthday to me im offically 17....also happy birthday to my twin cousin chon aka da don chon who's offically grown 18 baby get fucked up cuzo and also to my other lil cousin shaniere she's 11 almost a teenager enjoy lil buddy....happy birthday to rest of the virgos in the world

Monday, September 7, 2009


i just wanna thank the creators of hottopics(torey) for choosing me as the hottest blogger of the month and i also want to wish her a very happy birthday and hope she enjoys it...

as i look at u guys blog and see the different types out there, there's fashion sports life and even college blogs, and when i write my blog its like i get to dream and be whoeva i want on here, i can close ma eyes and start typing and be the richest person in the world but i dont choose to i choose to be me yo because having this blog it makes me feel better and less ashamed of ma situation, i speak for the people who's in the same situation as me we walk past and we look at our wants that we cant fufill because were to busy begging for our needs...life's just great yo...but hey im getting through...i just wanna thank hottopics again....it means alot to know somebody know where im coming from....

Friday, September 4, 2009


i originally wrote this in may i posted it on myspace so im goin to post it on here comments are appreciated......

everything im about to say is as true as us being human, and as serious as a heart attack...so im sitting in the emergency room waiting for my mom, she was there because she's a really bad diabetic and she had ran out of needles she uses for her instalants so we went there to get more, so im sitting there and i heard an ambulance come in, they brought this little boy in the er and they told the people at the window he was related to the person in the ambulance, the kid came over and sat by me he had a hawkeye hat and some shorts and a tshirt on,he looked like he was 8 or 9 years old judging by his height by neway...i was sitting there then he patted me and he said "whats are you here for?"im like nothing big my mom just needed help replacing something. i asked him the same question why was he here? i cant really remember i think he said his grandpa had a stroke or something..i told him i was sorry and i hoped his grandpa would be okay, i sat there talking to him for about 10 more mins then my momma came out and she was checking out i got up and as i was leaving i asked him if he was going to be okay, the kid said i quote him exact. "yeah, im going be okay its no big deal, i only have cancer." when i looked at him my eyes got big as i really looked at him he had that hat on cause he was bald. i wanted to cry....my point is this little guy who's only 8 or 9 seems to think everythings going to be okay and seems to think its not a problem when it is....when he told me he had cancer i wanted to cry so bad...how can this little boy tell me its no big deal and that he's gunna be okay when he's not?? how does he not think its not a problem when its one of the biggest problem of them all, a problem that can't be cured 99% of the time..it made me start thinking, like it really made me start to look around and really observe the people lives..like this girl right here she crying because her boyfriend cheated on her and broke up w/her, its not the end of the world,look at the kid next to you girl,man she has a disability where it makes her stand out a lot in the face, she has a disability that has allowed her never to walk and rarely talk...lets be real she may never have a guy to love her, she probably have parents who gave her up for the same reason a guy wont talk to her, she's different, but knowing all that that girl still finds time to smile,she's not crying, so why is you,when you know you got a thousand more shots at love,what gives you the right to cry, why are you heart broken when in the first place you knew dat damn boy wasnt faithful,what gives you the right to cry girl,when you know another guy is going to come alone and sweep you off your feet....when i look around me, my school is so isolated its ridiculous were split in half and seperated into little groups...you have the two main groups though, and thats the normals and the not so normals, i so happenly to be apart of the normals and all my friend to..but when you look at us and you look at them, they have the most problems in the world and i see nt a single complaint, and we have petty ass problems like i failed this test because i didnt study, im on prohbation cause i was fighting, im broke cause i smoke green all day,oh i cant forget this one, i think im pregnant, or they calling me a hoe/bussem, or i aint got no swagg...now look over at the un normals they happy ass hell, when they should and have every reason to be mad and sad...u see whats wrong with us teenagers today is we dont appreciate the shit we are blessed w/ i mean they make it so easy for us, that our dumb asses shouldnt be making mistakes but we still do and they still give us the easy way out...i mean so what you failed the test your dumbass should have studied it's not your place to be mad at nobody but ur self, because you chose not to study,but what you can do for the next test and i guarentee it will pay off, and that is study....and as for the two stupid mutha fuckas who on prohbation for fighting, and the one who cant do shit because he spent all his money on green. you should have turned around when you saw that girl waiting for you, yeah you would have walked away a pussy but when you did you would have also walked away a women and a free person and later on you would have gained respect..but not only did you lose the fight..lol damn...but you just made yourself one step close to possibly loosing your future,because aint no way in hell you can be sucessful in jail unless you can rap or sing, and that girl that you fought walked away because you went over there and you swung first instead of turning around you went over there and now she walked away w/ your future....now you Mr. Pothead how stupid could you be, your broke but at the same time you dumbass is becoming slow, because you Mr.Pothead is killing your brain cells. lets see what are you 17 at the rate your going how much you smoke,shit i'll be happy if you not brain dead by 30...how could you be so stupid that kid right there she never had a future in mind becaue she was never going to be capable and she know it, and that boy in virgina who was born bread he never had a chance to think, and your gunna sit here and throw your future away because she was ready fight and your gunna sit here and not think when you know your smart, how could you be so selfish, why dont you just give your smarts to the people who was born w/o it i promise they would run w/ it...bt lets not forget table #3 w/ the girl who thinks she's pregnant all the time, and her friend they call a hoe and a bussem, oh wait dont forget the cousin w/ no swagg.....man what's wrong w/ you i think pregnancy should be the least of your worries, you can get rid of that two different ways,bt that std you may have you stuck w/ it, so imma let you think about that let me talk to your friend who's being called names, man gurl how stupid could you be, hell yeah they gunna call you all that after yo ass sat up there and slept w/ damn near half that table, bt shit atleast you stay fresh what about your cousin sitting behind you w/ them same ones since the 7th grade and we in 10th...man since the 7th grade....let me tell you three dumbies something man if your only worried about being pregenant then get on birth control save yourself the stress,why is that the only thing you care about dont you know you can die from stds oh i guess you rather have those then get pregnant, why because you can hide it from your friends and parents for longer than nine months man you need to grow up and learn responsibility you need to control yourself before you wake up in the wrong persons shoes one day....and yea so what if they call you hoe and a bussem doesnt mean you have to be one its never to late to turn yourself around, you never going to find somebody who really love you they only going to hit and leave yo ass there, is that what you wanna be forreal,you sitting here laying on ur back when the girl in front of you was forced to have sex she was raped and beaten and now for the rest of her life she stuck w/ a std and baby some shit she never asked for she was a straight A virgin before any of this happened and you mean to tell me youll doing this shit for fun yea aite...let me tell you something man so what if you aint fresh dat aint shit bt appearance and appearance only matters in some shit and thats when you wayy into ur career bt you mean to tell me your mad at what your wearing when every inch of your body is covered you mean to tell me your mad.. what about that kid in africa who running around w/ a rice bag as an outfit he aint complaing shit he like it...so why you mad??...my point is w/ this shit is we call everything a problem when its not and when we can make them not happen, there's so many ways to avoid these petty ass america ways man there is...u just need to think before you let ur actions speak... my friend w. cancer he couldnt stop that, and he aint mad at because its not a problem to him he's still smiling, these kids w. disability they okay living life as it is,so why arent we, why in our heads there's this voice that makes us believe shit had to be perfect when perfects not real....why do we choose to turn our lives around after life chaging momments why couldnt we do it before...because we dont think before we do we just let shit happen,all im saying man next time you wake up look in the mirror and smile and be happy w/ who you are be glad your not that kid w/ the disability, or the one who got raped, or the guy who was born brain dead and that kid w/ cancer...man just be glad your who you are and your something different because in the end when everything starts to come to end god made you that way for reason....ZASCHA

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

life is crazy(homeless person perspective)

im 16 years old im damn near homeless my mom's sick ma sister got sent away so basically im homeless and alone...but the crazy thing about me is i still dont care, i go to school everyday i hang out every weekend with ma friends even if it means spending money i dont have...i have a question for you guys do u know what it means to have to go through all the bad stuff to get to the good?? because i dont all i been experiencing is bad bad bad....everyday i look at the kids in school i mean yea i dress as nice as them but i look and i wonder if they can tell that at the end of the day when they rush out to thier bmw's and thier convertables and they see me walking that im walking to no where....are you guys familar with the quote behind every smile there's a story well what happens when the author cant read thier own story???